Sunday, November 7, 2010

Teardrops On My Guitar

Its actually funny when I think of my "Drew". We became friends at a very unusual circumstances. He is smart and funny. And what I love about him is that he did not give me any negative vibes. He did not push me away eventhough I know that he knows I am slowly falling in love with him. I guess he really wants to be just friends. He never took advantage of that feeling, atleast thats what I felt.

I remember, I would probably be considered a stalker during that time. Being able to know his plans. Where he will be at a particular time. Just seeing his car parked in the same spot in the parking lot makes my day. Watching him walk along the sidewalk makes my heart skip. So you could just imagine what it would do to me when we talk on the phone. We gave each other nicknames. And fondly call each other those nicknames as code. I felt like its our "thing". Our secret. One day, I invited him to watch a game.

I want that day to be special. Thinking that it would be our first and last date so on that day, I cut my hair really short. I thought it would be a new me. Hoping that he would like it. When he picked me up, I was over the moon. I thought he looked dashing in his white shirt and khaki pants. I could smell his cologne and when he smile... dimples and all! He was a total gentleman. Opening the door for me and holding my hand climbing the stairs. I did not care at all who won the game because I felt like I was the one who won having him sitting beside me. He kept brusing his hand over mine. From the game all the way to his car in the parking lot, he was holding my hands. My heart is racing, don't want to expect anything but at the back of my mind I have a candle of hope lit up. Hoping that this is the start of something good. He will only let go of my hand when he starts the car. Even while driving me home, he holds my hand. A very nice soft hands. And before I got off the car... he pulled me softly and kissed me. A long and soft kiss.

Years have passed since that first and last date... first and last kiss and so I thought. When out of the blue he invited me to a party. What I thought was the end of it all, boy was I wrong! I knew he has a girlfriend. I knew nothing will come out of this "relationship" but I still want it. I love the mystery of it all. I love the secret nicknames. I love the coyness. And so we see each other again. The strong attraction is still there, at least on my side. Before the evening ended, all my confusion comes back again. The mystery... I knew he will never be mine but I guess thats the fun part of it.

I realize that I will never forget him. That attraction he has on me is the mystery. The coyness of it all. The no commitment, no explanation and no complications. No attachments and no drama was all that attracted me to him.

Its been many years now since I saw him last. I wondered if we will meet again?

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