Friday, June 10, 2011

A Dream

I was in a room... with lots of people that I somehow know. Though I don't recognize their faces, I know that they are family and friends. There is big celebration... a wedding! A man I knew from my past stands before me and my mother, who hands me over to the man. It was an arranged marriage and everybody around us rejoices. I felt like it was pre-arranged and that it would help somehow in our situation. I soon realized that I was wearing a white wedding gown... too big to fit me and that the room we were in was a church. The man was wearing a brown t-shirt and cacky shorts. He later put on a white shirt for the wedding. While everybody was rejoicing and celebrating, I felt like its my obligation to do this. The man though felt confused but went along with it. There was no ceremony or anything like that but we were dancing in the middle of the church were people around us where happy singing and laughing. I felt like I HAVE TO marry this guy thus need to fulfill my obligation to him. We went into a private room at the back of the church. We don't know what to do. So we talked. We told each other about our feelings. Since I know this guy from childhood, we agreed to make this work for the sake of our families and friends. We went out of the room and greeted them with smiles.
I heard somebody yelled my name... JHO!

I woke up feeling a heavyness in my heart. I feel so sad. I snuggled up to my husband who is sleeping soundly next to me and I started crying.

I don't know what this means. Please help.

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